Assume goodness in people

I haven't posted in quite sometime but working on myself has continued. For those of you who know me well, you know that I can be one of the most giving yet judgemental people around. I have the ability to give everything I have (love, possessions, time) and then at other times be very negative about those around me. One of my goals has been to be less judgemental, more loving and more positive. Slowly but surely this is happening. I have been doing a Bible study and many of the studies bring me to scripture on loving others and God's love. One of them was specifically on loving instead of judging. AWESOME!!! I have also tried to start understanding why people do what they do. What happened in their world that made them angry, cynical? Being a counselor, I know things that are occuring that others do not, and it has opened my eyes to trials that others are going through. So, I have started trying to take a step back and find something good within everyone around me. Seeing through eyes of compassion and love instead of critical eyes. It is a very freeing way to see.

Standing in front of a mirror

Stand in front of the mirror for five minutes and focus on at least five things that you love about yourself. Write them down in your journal.

So, even though I HATE looking in the mirror, I did this challenge. I've never really liked my looks. But this is about love, not hate, and after about a minute of getting past what I don't like, I started focusing on what I do like.

~I love the freckle in the middle of my nose.

~I love the fact that my butt is getting smaller and my waist is getting bigger. Never thought I'd say that.

~I love the color of my hair.

~Since I haven't been wearing make-up lately (it just comes off when I'm having my all-the-time-not-just-morning sickness) my skin is clear. I like that.

~I love my small forehead. It doesn't wrinkle, even when I frown.

My Emily

We just spent 5 days at the dude ranch in Bandera for Spring Break. We had an awesome time riding horses all day long. My little girl Emily is almost 6. Most of the time she is a pure joy to be around. I smiled the whole trip just watching her and how she interacted with people. Everybody loved her and begged us to stay longer. Even the cowboys who are normally quiet and distant would get excited when Emily walked up. Emily just has a spark that makes everyone happy and a sparkle in her eye that makes even the toughest of cowboys melt. She is so sweet and I love watching how she is growing up. Don't get me wrong, she can be a huge toot often enough. But I cherish these magical moments like the week at the dude ranch.

Behind

I am a little behind on posting, but I figure that is okay. I have been working really hard at trying to be grateful and/or positive for that which I have and the world around me. My birthday was this past Monday, and I had figured it would go by unnoticed. I was wrong. The weekend consisted of many fun events starting with bowling where everyone dressed up. I was on the granny rollers team, and we dressed up as grannies and bowled with the granny roll. On Saturday, I had people over to the house for a celebration. I figured around six people would show up but planned for all that had been invited. Around twenty-five friends showed up at my house ready to celebrate and have a good time. I was given homemade cards, a balloon, wine, book and cake. The night consisted of laughter and food which make a fabulous mix. Sunday, I ended up at the pool for around four hours with some friends I don't see often. Monday, my students brought chocolate cake and a movie, so we laughed and enjoyed for two class periods. I had asked God to help me not feel so lonely, and he surrounded me the entire weekend. I also received more messages than I can count in my inbox reminding me that people back home love me, and I was on their minds which is HUGE!! My prayer was answered and the loneliness disappeared to be replaced with notes, hugs, and laughter. My cup overflows.....

Confession

I have a confession to make. I told a little, little fib on our Gratitude Challenge. The truth is that I do not, nor have I ever, had a stomach bug. Sort of. I have been sick, because I have the kind of bug you give a name to after 9 months!


I'M PREGNANT!! I've been keeping it quiet, but we went to the doctor today, and the doctor said everything looks really good, so we decided to let the cat out of the bag. We are both so very excited (we've been trying for a baby for about a year now). Right now, my due date is around October 22nd.

So guess what I'm grateful for today??

Happy Birthday, Jen!

Today I am very grateful for Ms. Janice and Mr. Paul (Mom and Dad) for having Jennifer!! Happy Birthday Jenn!!!!

From Tara...not sure what to title it..lol

Today, make the effort to live life with a positive outlook. Restrain from criticizing the people around you. Dare to see the glass half full. Listen more than you speak. Give freely of yourself. Practice kindness at every opportunity.

Wow. That's a lot. In the last couple of years, I truly have begun to live life with a more positive outlook, and it has freed me from stress I didn't know I was carrying. Criticizing people...well, that is a weakness with me sometimes. Never my friends, but I do sometimes snap to judgement with strangers. Sooo.....in this challenge, I have begun to befriend a lady that lives next door to me.

She is older than I am but very sweet and somewhat ill (she fell this winter and hurt herself pretty badly, and also has another chronic ailment). She is also beginning to recover from a lifetime of suppressed emotions due to a series of very tragic events. And I get the feeling she is very, very lonely. Her husband is a doctor at the local hospital and works long hours. Even though she is not someone I would choose to befriend, I have "given freely of myself" and truly tried to practice kindness. And I find myself enjoy each visit more and more. It is hard to listen to her stories sometimes, because I hate to see people hurting, but I know it helps. Sometimes we just drink tea and watch our dogs play, sometimes we actually go places. It is a bit straining sometimes, because she calls quite often, but I just remind myself that it makes her so happy when we "hang out". I do sometimes ignore her calls, but I'm trying to be more patient. Which has never been one of my qualities.

And listening more than I speak is something I've been trying to do for a while. It's a long journey. I remember that I received an evaluation at work once that said I talk more than I listened, and I was furious about that! I thought it was completely untrue and totally made up until I came home and started complaining about it to Brandon. And he shocked me by saying, "Well, I'm not trying to make you angry, but you do that to me sometimes. When I'm talking to you, I don't think you're listening. You just seem to be thinking of what you'll say next." It was an eye opener. So ever since then, I've been much more aware of trying to listen. It's a true talent, those natural listeners. I sometimes have to literally tell myself, "Don't speak. Listen. Just listen."

This is a long post, sorry. And I know I'm not quite on schedule, but I've missed a few days being ill. I hope it's okay if I just post the ones I think I'm on? If not, lol, someone tell me what day we're on!